Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
