scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
