Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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