im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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