dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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