paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
