I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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