He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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