it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
