yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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