Soap is not a condiment
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
