I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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