belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
