dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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