I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
