I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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