somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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