hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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