That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
