I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
