don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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