found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
