doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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