What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize