Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
