There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
