I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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