she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
