I wish I could punch you in the face.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My vagina just clenched in fear
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