I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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