do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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