you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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