i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
