My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
