Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
