nut hugger
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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