Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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