Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
