Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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