dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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