they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
