a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
