If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
