Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
