Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
