when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
