ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
