the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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