I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
