Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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