1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
