There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
