Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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